I have days when I feel like God is right there; the wind beneath my wings.

At those moments I am flying confidently, with the wind, with a clear destination. And I can feel God everywhere! His love permeating throughout every feather, I mean cell. (LOL)

During these spiritually blissful moments I’m chirping like a bird, “I can do all things…woo–hoo!” and “If He is for me who can be against me…hahaha!”

Then suddenly, and sometimes for what seems like no apparent reason the feeling is gone. That warmth I so heavily relied upon has pulled away. And the wind feels like it’s pulling me off course, leaving me feeling empty, alone and uncertain. My wings feel heavy and I am no longer sure about my destination.  I began to call out, “Hello? God? You there?”  And when I don’t get a desired response; a sign, or a quiver in my spirit, I began to feel like I’m going to go crashing down. I stay distracted by the internet, food or other things.

It was during one of these dark moments that lead me write this poem:

Know That I Am Here

A cool morning breeze brushes against my soul

As my spirit soars basking in the morning sun

Not once

Glancing at its glow

Yet knowing that it’s near

I feel its warmth~

And I reach for you, heavenly Father

Praying that Your Spirit is soaring with me

Then I hear Your reply

I am the gust beneath your wings

guiding; just follow

I am the light greater than day

All you have to do is open your eyes and see

I am the whisper in your heart that knows you seek

Listen and you’ll know the way

I am the Son that enlightens, beaming beyond the rays

All you have to do is

feel the warmth~

©©©

Over time I began to see this moment of feeling distant from our Lord and Savior as a common and genuine experience. I began to see it as a season that will surely pass. I also began to realize that it’s during this season that God works with me on another level; He hasn’t pulled away, He just changed His approach.

One of the first things I do is pray, and pray again. Then I meditate to remind myself He is still there!  Then I pray selflessly. Now mind you, a lot of my prayers have been in regards to me, myself and I and those I love. So when I say selfless, I mean I’m not asking for a fix. Instead I’m giving praise, worship and gratitude. Thankful that He loves me enough, regardless of all my crap: Thankful that I was called to prayer. Thankful that He is reshaping my consciousness, helping me to examine what I really believe.Thankful that He keeps picking me up, when I fall.

Selfless prayer is a conscious effort for someone like me (smile).

Then as time went on I took selfless to the next level and asked, “What can I do for You Father?” This is something that I had been reluctant to do in the past, in fear that He might make it known to me. Then what? What if I can’t do it? What if it’s more than I am willing to handle? His will be done? Uh-oh!

Then I understood (a revelation) that we are designed for our unique destinations. We are created and equipped with a specific plan at hand. We have the gifts we need to pursue His will. And even when our faith is weary we can go to Him for assurance.

And in the gentle breeze, He is whispering to your spirit

Know that I am here.