Just recently I have had to forgive someone close to my heart. She’s been my friend forever.

Of course, it wasn’t the first time I had to exercise forgiveness, and it won’t be the last, I’m sure.

What was different is my sudden awareness of the whole process of forgiving.

Do you ever have the feeling that GOD is trying to tell you something? Or maybe not trying to tell you, for heaven’s sake, He’s the amazing creator. He doesn’t have to try and tell us something we just need to receive what He’s saying. (Jeremiah 32:27) I had to receive what was being presented to me about being a forgiving person.

We all know that there comes a time in all of our relationships where forgiving is necessary; even when the relationship no longer exists. It’s necessary for our own well being. In his book Deadly Emotions, Dr. Don Colbert MD talks about the ramifications of harboring toxic emotions. A great read!

How many transgressions done against us do we store in our hearts, especially when the person needing grace refuses to acknowledge their wrong doings, our pain, or our perspective on the situation? Those are the hardest situations.

This brings to mind the story of Christ on the cross. In the midst of being brutalized (abused), “Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.” Luke 23:34

Whew! Brings tears to my eyes when I think about His loving heart.

Nevertheless,

All this forgiveness business is easier said than done. Amen? I mean really forgiving. Yeah, you know what I mean.

Many times we say that we forgive, when in actuality resentment is still simmering in our hearts? Or, we say we forgive and try to pretend that the incident never occurred. I believe that it’s OK to remember (with an understanding of the reason behind the action) after all, it’s our experiences that give us spiritual wisdom. A wisdom that says be careful next time. Or what did you learn? Or what role did I play?

How self righteous am I, to not be willing to forgive though…

I have had to ask for forgiveness on a number of occasions. Who hasn’t? We’ve all wronged someone close to us or done something that rendered being forgiven, on some level.

Isn’t it funny, how those of us who need the most grace give the least?

Now back to the process of forgiving…

One of the first things I do to work through the matter is get some help. I get down on my knees, and dump it all out. Yep, I have a real honest conversation with my Maker; the love of my life. I can’t hide anything from Him anyway; he knows when I’m mad as hell. Vent, cry or whine, keep it real.

Then,

I honor my emotions.

I accept peace as a God given gift.

I replace the resentment I just poured out into God’s hands with love. Remembering the person who has wronged me is a child of God as well.

I acknowledge that it’s OK to take care of myself by realizing what the person who has wronged me is capable of doing.

It is a challenge; I often wonder which is harder, true forgiveness or true humility.